In a Dr.Evil-esque technological development, scientists in Switzerland have designed a weather control laser. Perhaps weather control is a bit of an overstatement, but the laser can make it rain, literally.
Different rain professionals have been responding with a mix of terror, awe, and delight. Weatherwomen Michel Meelei said “This could be bad news in a tight economy for weather persons. What are we going to report? ‘Laser shot into sky again, making it 68 and sunny’”. Rain dancers, umbrella manufactures, and little girls jumping in puddles expressed similar concerns.
Some, however, look at the weather laser and see opportunity. Entrepreneur Jim Green, CEO of Two of Every Animal, said “It’s clear sometime soon this laser will fall into terrorist hands, leading to some kind of biblical style flooding. People are going to need arks and I will be the one to provide them”
There are, however, some flaws in the laser’s design. For one, it only work on humid air, so Arizonans, we won’t be shooting lasers at you… for now.
The laser is still years from completion but already the Swiss team envisions thousands of practical uses for the laser. Dr Ferzmig said “With this technology we can finally end droughts, stop tsunamis, and create enough rain to submerge France, freeing Switzerland from land lock.”