“….and it’s always February 2nd, and there’s nothing I can do about it!”

Good news for all those into the idea of celebrating made-up holidays like Flag Day or Chanukkah. Today is February 2nd, which means it’s Groundhog Day, that special day on the calendar where the national media focuses in on an over-sized rat in an irrelevant town in Pennsylvania. Anyone who graduated from kindergarten knows the deal; if the groundhog sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of winter, and if he doesn’t, spring blooms pre-March and Al Gore makes another documentary. It’s all there in L. Ron Hubbard’s Scientology: A New Slant On Life.

In case my sarcastic-enthusiasm isn’t coming off strong enough, let me reiterate; Groundhog Day is Dumb, and anyone who actually believes a beaver-wannabe named Punxsutawney Phil (a drug-dealer nickname if there ever was one) can predict the weather probably should have been beaten publicly by a sex-starved nun a long time ago. The only true reason to celebrate this fictional holiday is that Comedy Central will usually just put Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day on repeat.

(Side Note: Has there ever been a ska-punk rock band named the Punksutawney Phil’s? If not, I shot it. Also, shoot me an e-mail if you want to join my new ska-punk band.)

Fox News has had it out for The Muppets ever since their latest film The Muppets came out in November, and with good reason. According to Fox the Muppets spread dangerous propaganda with the intent of “Brainwashing our kids”. Films stars Kermit the Frog and Mrs. Piggy said the claims were “laughable” as seen in the video below.

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Hey guys! It’s Oscar nomination day and you know what that means! Complaining! (more…)

Move over Hollywood because there is a new player in the game high-budget action movies. I am speaking of course about Ghana. Just check out the trailer for the upcoming movie 2016 (the sequel to the wildly successful 12:00 franchise)

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Today is Friday the 13th. Not the only Friday the 13th this year (there will be three of them, what a lucky year 2012 is!) but the first. And for Friday the 13th, there’s only one thing you can do. Celebrate Jason Voorhees.

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I am a snob. Just last week I nearly got into a fist fight with my little brother because I rolled my eyes at something he was excited about. This can be a real problem but when it comes to culture it means that I like way better shit than you. Of course there are ways that you can fake your way into cultural snobbery. One easy tip I can offer is checking out the films of the Criterion Collection. (more…)

Over the past few decades many people have lamented the “sell out” status of the Rolling Stones. Corporate sponsorship for their tours, playing the same songs in increasingly vacuous terrain, $200 concert tickets, you know the deal. Funny thing is those young rebels were ready to sell out long ago. (more…)

Netflix is doing it again; changing their shit. Pardon the French but, I’m getting a little sick of new announcements and constant adjustments to my subscription. First, DVD and streaming were separate charges but now they are becoming separate entities entirely. Netflix is renaming their DVD mail order part of business “Qwickster” and keeping the Netflix name for streaming. What does this mean?

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“The Lion King: 3D” is now in theaters. I plan on going to see it as soon as I can. Although this is exciting news for anyone of my generation, I am perhaps more enthralled than most; after all, I made my mom take me to see it FIVE times while it was in movie theaters when I was six. 

My best friend Grace and I invented our own lyrics to “I Just Can’t Wait to be King” and when the movie came out on VHS, I wore it out from repeated use. As a teenager, when I would have Disney dance parties with the little girls for whom I babysat, the eldest girl, who acted as DJ always made sure to include songs from the movie on my behalf. After I read William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” I fell in love with “The Lion King” all over again.

I am generally not a fan of the 3D craze; the format holds no appeal to me, but for the opportunity to see “The Lion King” again in theaters, I will gladly wear the generally ill-fitting 3D glasses and belt out the lyrics to all the songs. I will probably also include Grace and my own lyrical contributions and sob when Mufasa dies.

The movie is a cornerstone of my childhood and thus stirs up strong feelings of nostalgia, but it is also a well-drawn, well-executed film that I know will appeal to me as much now as it did when I was six.

Bill Murray is the greatest comic actor of his time. I say this not as an opinion, though it is that as well, but as an unmitigated truth that should be accepted and respected by all who’s ears it touches. Just as the Beatles are “the greatest band of all time” Bill Murray should loom over modern comedy film like a constant reminder of what being funny in a movie is all about. (more…)