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iLove – I Really Do

29 Jul

apple

As I sleepily boarded the train this morning, something hurtful and offensive smacked me right in the face.  Not a hobo’s hand or 7-foot man’s backpack, but the word “iSnob” written on the front page of a free local newspaper.    Because it would have been presumably rude and ill-mannered to grab the paper away from the 70 year-old woman covered in what was either baby powder or confectioner’s sugar, I wasn’t able to read the actual article.  Later I found out the article detailed results of a Facebook survey where approximately 20,000 individuals were asked how they felt about iPad users.  Well, apparently 90% chose “iSnob”.  I know…haters gonna hate, haters gonna hate.

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I’ve Got News For You – I’m a Jackson, A Really Petit One

28 Jul

jackson

So Michael Jackson might have a child that’s actually his.

No, not kids that he tried to pass off as biologically his, this isn’t 7th Heaven.  A Netherlands woman named Mocienne Petit Jackson claims that when the late King of Pop was 17 he secretly impregnated her mother, Barbara Ross-Lee, sister of Diana Ross.   (more…)

WHEN VIDEO GAMES PWN THE INTERNET

27 Jul

warcraft

Imagine yourself in the 26th Century somewhere in the Milky Way galaxy, BATTLING AN INSECTOID SPECIES OF GENETIC ASSIMILATORS FROM THE PLANET ZERG.  If you’re not already doing this, then you must not be a 16 year-old boy, and you should get with the times.  I know I will. (more…)

Bieber Fever Bipolarism

26 Jul

Bieber Fever Bipolarism

I’m not going to lie. It is extremely possibly likely that I have Bieber fever.  Despite the fact that “Bieber molests fan” was one of the most searched phrases on Google only eight hours ago.  Hear me out—“Bieber saves endangered whales and 1000 babies” also came up.  Okay, fine, it didn’t.  But who knows what could happen with all these Bieber allegations out there. (more…)

The UN-Shame of Supporting Your Team

21 Jul

10watchers1.600

So now, a week after the big game, I think it’s time to get serious about football. No, not the NFL, good old European football. Supposedly started in England after enemies were beheaded and subsequently kicked around for fun, it’s the most played sport in the world and we’ve all seemed to go crazy for it. At least for a little while. (more…)

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