At approximately 8:28 p.m. last night, I completely lost my hearing. Why? Because I went to the Justin Bieber concert at Madison Square Garden last night. About a month ago, I wrote a post about Bieber Fever Bipolarism and my inter-battle with Justin. Well, as of right now, I am completely on-board with the Bieber train, not that I was ever really off.

Here’s a recap of last night’s events:

• Sean Kingston and some girl named Jessica Jarrell (not important) opened for Justin. When Ms. Jarrell began to perform, I thought it was a good time to grab a beer. Sean Kingston doesn’t sing live at all, he just makes party favor noises and tells people to put their hands up, which is completely fine and what I prefer.
• After an excruciating 50+ minutes of waiting for Justin to get on stage, my friend and I had to withstand the shrills, shrieks, and screams of what seemed to be like one trillion tween girls.
• Iyaz comes out and performs his smash hit “Replay” = more screaming
• They announce that this particular show is going to be Justin’s (first-named basis now) 3D movie and ask the entire arena to stand up and make a heart sign…in complete silence. Didn’t happen, obviously, but who knows, look for me in the movie, I was pretty serious about the silence thing.
• Justin comes on and EVERYONE, moms, dads, confused boys, and myself included (less so my friend) go ape-shit crazy.
• The show’s going well, Justin’s doing his thing, until he starts to sing “U Smile” and Boyz II Men comes out for some Motown-flavored harmonizing with Justin.
• After Justin performs acoustic versions of two of his songs in a heart-shaped cage above his audience, Usher comes out.
• Then Miley Cyrus
• Then Jaden Smith
• Then Sean Kingston again
• Then Ludacris

Pretty much something like that. The show was not only superfluously full of superstars—it was also highly entertaining, in more than one-way. A woman, presumably in her 30’s went alone and danced the ENTIRE TIME, even for the popcorn guy. Drunk? High? No, huge Bieber fan. And I’m not going to lie, when Miley Cyrus came out, I kind of wanted the concert to turn into a 65-minute version of “Party in the USA”. Instead, it was this, which was FINE. (Not my video or screams by the way)

What I enjoyed the most wasn’t Justin’s performances on the guitar, drums, or piano, but the 10-minutes of home videos they showed of him “back in the day” (yesterday). Little 3 year-old Justin playing a flawless beat on the drums or singing his ABC’s at age 2 was nothing short of adorable, but proof that he didn’t just come out of talent-less thin air. So the kid’s knowledge on geography isn’t so good, and MAYBE his hair looks kind of stupid, but who cares. I happily left the concert last night as a shameless 22 year-old, bypassing the sea of parents waiting for their kids. I didn’t quite understand the extent of Bieber Fever until last night, guess I better check my temperature soon.

I’ve got a lot of respect for the Chilean miners who have been trapped underground for the past 17 days. Stranded 2,300 feet below ground, the 33 miners were told that it could take up to four months to be able to drill a hole deep and wide enough to pull them out of safety.

The Chilean government has pulled out all the stops in their rescue efforts. President Sebastian Piñera has contacted NASA as well as the Chilean Navy to share their experiences of working in submarines, conditions believed to be similar to that of the miners. What I love most about all of this? The undying spirits of these men. Once a microphone and video camera were sent below ground to the men, an uproar of song emerged in the form of the Chilean National Anthem.

There’s nothing more I love than determination, positive thinking, and National Anthems. Best of luck to the men, stay tuned.

Today, the world is a very sad place. Not because of any environmental disaster or international religious debate (well, yes, those too), but because there are 380 million less eggs. Apparently, hundreds of fried, scrambled, sunny-side up, and poached egg eating Americans have gotten sick from salmonella contaminated eggs in at least three states. For those of you who don’t know, there are 47 other states in America, and what’s a little salmonella poisoning going to do to you? Sure, if you definitively know that you have eggs from Wright Country Eggs, where the recalled eggs are from, then don’t start shoving hard-boiled’s down your throat. But come on, 380 million less eggs in the country?

I can’t imagine anything more frightening than that.

Personally, I like to think of the chickens, those poor chickens, crammed in their little cages with their hormone pumped abnormally large breasts and thighs…that’s how salmonella contaminated eggs are produced in the first place! So after they get all motile enterobacteria stricken, the CDC recalls hundreds of millions of eggs rendering all the egg-producing efforts of countless chickens, obsolete. Well guess what, salmonella can suck it.

Tonight, I’m going to feast on a massive plate of carbonara and chase it with three Nutella crepes.  Thank you, God, for eggs.

Just a little over a year ago when I was on my way to visit a friend in Providence, I was super excited for the train ride up there…until I got on the train. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good train ride, but I don’t love a train ride when it stalls in New Rochelle for 45 minutes and I particularly don’t love a train ride when it lasts close to 8 hours when it was supposed to take 6. This is why President Obama’s recent $8 billion dollar commitment in Recovery Act grants to introduce high-speed bullet trains (up to 200 mph) in the United States comes as great news to me- an unlicensed and frequent traveler.

Not only will high-speed trains decrease the amount of time Americans spend traveling to-and-from work and improve air quality from reduced car emissions, but it’ll help us get with the times. Japan first introduced bullet trains in 1964; South Korea has high-speed trains that can fit up to 935 passengers each, and Europe has a high-speed transcontinental railroad that can take passengers from London to Paris in just a little over 2 hours. Thanks for helping us get with it, Barack. 

That little stunt that Amtrak pulled during my train ride to Providence almost cost me an Emma Watson sighting at a Brown University party. Thankfully, I made it just in time to show off some of my dance moves to Ms. Watson. What a cutie pie!

It was all a rumor back in June, until today. Rush Limbaugh has graced the world, more specifically, the world of Facebook, with his and wife Kathryn’s wedding photos. The recently confirmed rumor is not of this summer-autumn (more like Ming Dynasty-autumn) marriage, but that in fact Sir Elton John performed during the ceremony. He did and Rush has the pictures to prove it. I, for one, am particularly pleased because I really, really love Elton John. If it’s not the soothing shade of purple of his glasses, it’s his baritone voice.

First and foremost, let’s forget about 33 year-old Kathryn, what is outspoken gay civil-union advocate Elton John doing performing at conservative radio commentator Rush Limbaugh’s wedding? I can answer this question. Elton John is the man. Strange pairing you say? Well, yes, but here’s a theory: Perhaps Elton’s presence balanced out the slight, ahem, age difference between the bride and groom. Or maybe Elton John just makes everything better.

Elton John has not only been Knighted, collaborated with John Lennon, but also wrote the greatest love song of all time—“Can You Feel The Love Tonight”.  Did you sing it Elton? Rush and Kathryn, did you feel it?  I know I do.

After three days of being lost at sea during a fishing expedition, three boaters from South Florida survived by eating what they caught—raw dolphin meat served with spicy mustard. Yes, that’s right, dolphin meat. And what would dolphin meat be without spicy mustard? It would be plain old dolphin meat, and that’s just so last Tuesday.

It’s most likely safe to say that this is probably the only time it’s acceptable for anyone to eat dolphin meat. While Elijah Wood wipes his tears away, this handy survival tip is ideal for anyone who is about to starve to death. Granted, three days without fresh water and food is not three weeks, these Jacksonville boaters sure used their noggins. Forget about catching a measly trout or bluefin tuna, go for the dolphin meat. After all, isn’t dolphin meat notoriously known for being high in happiness proteins and developed social skill nutrients?

All jokes aside, if dolphin meat was truly their last resort, then by all means, do your best not to die. Darwin definitely got it right this time— just try not to start eating chimpanzees if you’re ever lost in a rainforest. Consuming bipedals is where I have to draw the line.

Last night, I had an extensive conversation about The Human Centipede with some friends, some old, some new…during dinner.  For those of you who do know about the film and don’t know much about me, I promise you that I’m not a bad person and that I typically stray away from talking about 3 people connected ass-to-mouth during dinner.  And for those of you who don’t know about the film, well, I just told you.

As sick as The Human Centipede may be and sound, the film is actually a dark comedy and is pretty hilarious UNTIL THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE IS MADE.  After that, it’s nonstop dry heaving and sweating.  One of these particular friends of mine, new to the concept, begged me to stop talking about it, but I just couldn’t.

The film was released on both on Video on Demand and in limited release in theaters at the end of April, so why are people still talking about it almost 4 months later?  I can’t answer that question, but as embarrassingly intrigued, obsessed and repulsed by it I may be, I just can’t seem to stop integrating centipede references into my daily life.

The concept of the film is absurd, but apparently 100% medically accurate.  INTRIGUED YET?  There’s a sequel coming out next year involving the number twelve. OBSESSED YET?  The purpose of the prequel is to acquaint viewers with the idea of a human centipede, therefore, the sequel will be even more graphic and more…I don’t really know what.  REPULSED YET?

I know I am!  Someone save us all.

If you’re going to buy some stock, now’s the time.  On Tuesday, an industrial-era company that specializes in making glass, Corning, Inc. announced their $180 million investment to expand the production of Gorilla glass.

That’s a lot of money and what’s Gorilla glass?

It’s basically super-strong, scratch-resistant yet flexible glass that graces the hands of many smartphone users (and other people who like and use glass, I guess).  The glass combines light LCD glass with the glass of old milk bottles to create a lightweight but tough glass.

First sold in 2008, the demand for Gorilla glass continues to steadily grow, particularly from smartphone manufacturers. Current users of Gorilla glass include Samsung Ultra Touch, Nexus One, Motorola’s Droid and maybe even in Apple’s iPhone 4 (no one really knows for sure).  Corning, Inc. president James P. Clappin expects the projected sales from this year to reach in excess of $250 million.  Now, I’m not a big numbers person, but it seems like Mr. Clappin’s going to be doing an awful lot of hysterical clapping for the next few years.

Glass is used almost everywhere and in everything.  Lightweight, scratch-resistant, but still sturdy and tough glass?

My thoughts exactly.

So, if you’ve got some money to invest, then I’d suggest buying some Corning, Inc. Gorilla glass stock, you seriously, really, can’t go wrong.

So yesterday marks the start of the infamous Shark Week.  Don’t get me wrong, I love sharks, but I love whales even more.  (Haven’t you noticed a trend?)  As a self-proclaimed ocean enthusiast, I have a suggestion.  In addition to Shark Week, let’s have WHALE WEEK.  One full week, nonstop whale-age.  If I had to choose one, I’d choose WHALE WEEK for the following reasons:

• Whales are mammals, sharks are not.  Therefore, sharks can drown from  swimming side-to-side. (They don’t actually do that, but still.  Idiots.)
• Some whales sing and smile at you, sharks do not.
• Whales are on top of the food chain in the ocean, who should get a week? Some sharks or some whales?
• Some whales are HUGE. (Big “whoa” factor in my opinion)
• Whales are viewed as gentle, highly intelligent, and socially advanced mammals.
• According to Russian scientists, Beluga whales (my faves) are the closest animal species to having an actual language.
• Whales represent creativity and intuition in Native American cultures, and those guys are never wrong.
• Whales are more widely hunted for their meat and their magic blubber oil (makes me so sad), sharks are hunted for their fins and teeth, big deal.
• Raffi had an international hit about ONE baby Beluga.

WHALE WEEK it is, who’s with me?

A few months ago when the weather got warm, I began to have nightly visits to my apartment building’s roof deck for some light reading.  After a few nights of solitude, which I very much enjoyed, I began to notice many, many Italians.  It turns out that my residential building also served as College Italia for Italian students studying abroad for their graduate degrees.  Get excited, because I did.

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