This week I haven’t felt particularly entertained. There weren’t as many sharable internet gags. I feel let down. People of the internet, you have let me down!

Where are the 80s accordion songs? Where are all of the amusing yet short lived internet memes? Where were all the cats!? Sometimes I feel like the internet has failed me. Sure, I can look up the Oxford English Dictonary of “community” when someone asks for it on twitter and yes, it’s a great source for news and information if you don’t have cable (guilty!) but when the most entertained you’ve been all week  was watching Melissa & Joey on Netflix, something is wrong.

Do you hear that people of the internet? I had to resort to former child stars on a new television show for entertainment! I think it’s time we stepped up our game. I’m expecting a lot more from you next week. I want hipsters and Rube Goldberg machines. I want guinea pigs in funny hats! I want clever witticisms and one liners. Heck I’d even settle for a new list of Harry Potter pick up lines. But no matter what it is get it together and get it together fast. I hear there’s another season of Melissa & Joey on Netflix now and so help me if I have to watch it…there will be hell to pay.

In a turnaround sudden and fast enough to give you whiplash, the Susan G. Komen foundation has decided to reverse it’s decision regarding the giving of funds to Planned Parenthood.

In a completely shocking and surprise move earlier this week,  the Susan G. Komen Foundation announced that it would no longer be funding Planned Parenthood due to a newly instated rule regarding the granting of money to organizations under investigation at the federal, state, and local level. This would be a huge blow to the family planning organization which gives free breast cancer screenings to thousands of low income women and girls every year.

While claiming that their intentions were not motivated by politics to the press and public, internally they were singing a different tune. One of their newly instated board members has a long history of anti-abortion avocation and specifically targeted Planned Parenthood. In December, it is said, that she is the one that instituted this rule of “investigation = no grants” purely to target this organization.

Now that they have reversed their decision, I am wondering if the outrage against them has been so overt that they will not recover. I personally know women who have walked in the Susan G. Komen walk for a cure for the last 3 years and I wonder if they will still participate in wake of this PR nightmare.

One thing is clear, regardless of the Komen Foundations efforts to politicize women’s health, the public has spoken. Cancer is an apolitical disease and should NEVER be used for the political gain of one party or another. Only by working together, regardless of party affiliation, can a cure for this terrible disease be found.

I woke up this morning and had at least four messages from my brother. This was really odd since my brother usually doesn’t text me unless it’s really important. Thinking that someone had died or something catastrophic had happened, I checked them before I even got out of bed. But no, it was four frantic messages telling me that I MUST check out this amazing youtube video. (more…)

Wednesday January 18, 2012 will be a day to remember in internet history. Websites that are used by hundreds of thousands of people all over the planet are shutting down in protest. News sources report that Reddit, Boing Boing, WordPress, Twitpic, and Wikipedia are all closing down their services for 24 hours to protest the SOPA and PIPA legislations.

In the most layman terms: SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) is a bill in the House of Representatives that is intended to help protect the people who create media that can be transmitted easily on the internet. (PIPA is the same except in the Senate.) It’s kind of like Napster all over again. Honestly, I feel like anyone who spent a lot of time making a movie, book, song, etc… should get some sort of monetary reward for it. So this bill, on the surface, doesn’t seem so bad right?

Well, it’s in some of the wording of the bill that these websites and companies are taking umbrage. There is language in HR3261 (SOPA) and S968 (PIPA) that would allow corporations to demand the immediate removal of any website that it sees as affecting their profits. Not only do they demand this outrageous thing, but they want there to be absolutely no judicial oversight. This is not free speech. It’s scandal.

I guess the moral of the story is that you should educate yourself about these bits of legislation and to be active about calling your representatives about it. Just don’t try and look it up on Wikipedia.

It appears that Google isn’t Rick Santorum’s only problem. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, ask Dan Savage about Santorum. He’ll be happy to tell you all about it.) It seems that Rick Santorum’s other enemy is…Rick Santorum. Seriously, the guy cannot keep his mouth shut and when he blurts out something silly, he automatically and conveniently forgets that he said it.

I point you back to the big scandal of not so long ago where he was quoted as saying “I find it remarkable for a black man to say ‘ no we are going to decide who are people and who are not people.’” Open mouth, insert foot.

This isn’t the only time Mr. Santorum has had some kind of scandal. He was on NPR this weekend and while he was talking about welfare he said, “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money; I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money.” Open mouth, insert other foot.

If you thought that just because Santorum had run out of feet to stick in his mouth that maybe he would stop saying stupid things, you were wrong. In a TV interview on Wednesday he told John King of CNN that he was “pretty confident” that’s not what he said. He claims he began a word “sort of changed it and it sort of , bleaugh, mumbled it.”

Rick, I’ll lend you a foot. Since your mouth is full I’ll just…

Nevermind.

Justin Bieber fans everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief. Last week, allegations that the teenage pop star fathered a child with Mariah Yeater were quietly dismissed.

At one point in the case, Yeater’s lawyers claimed she had credible evidence that her four month old child was fathered by Bieber. Bieber staunchly denied any claim saying that he had never even met the girl in question who was probably just “an attention seeker hell-bent on grabbing headlines.” Well, if that was her goal: mission accomplished!

Yeater was the subject of many a twitter trend, entertainment headline, and even die-hard fan death threats.

The charges have been dropped and Yeater’s lawyers have completely abandoned their former client. Speculation is that Justin’s lawyers threatened to sue both Yeater and her legal team for defamation of character and making false accusations.

This came on the tails of the pop star stepping forward to willingly take a DNA test to prove he was not the father of Yeater’s child.

Justin Bieber stated in an interview with Rolling Stone that he felt very strongly about premarital sex and was quoted as saying “You should only do that with someone you really love.”

Maybe he was thinking of his long time girlfriend Selena Gomez with this sentiment? In the wake of the Ashton and Demi breakup, we’re in need of a new power couple. Personally, we’re rooting for Bieber and Selena. Go team.

A debate raged in the office yesterday. Everyone had strong opinions and took a stand. No, the topic of discussion was not Occupy Wall Street or world politics, it was the announcement of People Magazine’s sexiest man alive. Bradley Cooper has been given this honor and joins the ranks of Hollywood hunks such as Harrison Ford, George Clooney, Ryan Reynolds, and Mel Gibson.

But the debate rages over the decision to bestow upon Cooper this pop culture medal of honor. The list of candidates that have been passed over is astounding, but who really got snubbed? If you ask around, Ryan Gosling fans are probably the most upset group by the Cooper announcement thinking that this year might finally be the year for their Notebook beefcake. However, almost equally upset are the Joel McHale fans who love the adorable, great smile, great abs, comedic chops of the Community star.

But looking over the list of past winners has made me recognize a pattern. Denzel Washington is the only African-American to ever make the list in 1996 and John F. Kennedy Jr. is the only non-actor to be the sexiest man of the year way back in 1988. Perhaps next year, our sexiest man alive should be based on merit in the field of charity or contributions to society? But I guess it wouldn’t hurt if he had Joel McHale’s abs…

For many of the younger generation, “Lady Marmalade” is a song that is only associated with the film “Moulin Rouge.” However, for those with a larger musical library, Patti LaBelle introduced this gotta-dance soul song into living rooms and dance clubs back in the 1970s. Now this diva is best known for the Oprah Winfrey Show theme song, singing with Lady Gaga, and now assaulting Toddlers.

The R&B singer was staying in New York City when she got into an altercation with a woman who’s 18 month old daughter was wandering around the lobby of a Manhattan building. When Ms. LaBelle tried to say something to the mother, Roseanna Monk, the mother told her she should mind her own business. Apparently, this is the wrong this to say to Ms. LaBelle who flew into a rage and started cursing. According to ABC news, she was overheard saying “I hope you have a terrible life” coupled with a flurry of f-words.

During this tirade, the soul diva threw water and her water bottle on the child and her mother causing the toddler to cry and be sick. After asking for an apology and a donation to a child cancer charity and being refused, Mrs. Monk is now suing the grammy award winning singer for an undisclosed amount.