America Leads, Others Follow: The Chinese Oil Spill
22 Jul
In the spirit of International competition, China is currently experiencing its largest reported oil spill in history. The spil occurred off the coast of Dalian, and oil began creeping onto the beaches of the Yellow Sea on Wednesday.
(If you think “Yellow Sea” in Asia is racy, just keep reading)
Zhong Yu, an environmental worker for Greenpeace, described the water as “half-solid and half liquid and… as sticky as asphalt.”
She continued by saying “I’ve been to a few bays today and discovered they were almost entirely covered with dark oil”… a shocking read, indeed, as we just assumed Zhong Yu was a boy’s name.
The photo to the right was released by Greenpeace, and it’s apparently a firefighter who was submerged in oil during a repair attempt on an underwater pump. CIA officials initially thought this was top secret information on the Republic of China’s Secret “Project: Blazin.”
For all those unaware, Project Blazin is a top-secret, highly illegal series of experiments funded by a coalition between the Republic of China, North Korea, and Mister Swackhammer, the CEO and President of “Moron Mountain.” Its mission was to create a superhuman that would have the physical qualities of a Black man and an Asian man who would be incredible at both basketball and math.
What? You find that offensive? Well so do we!
But not nearly as offensive as the total disregard the world’s two Superpowers show towards our environment.
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