Vuvuzela: Let South Africa Blow!

FIFA organizers are discussing the idea of banning the “vuvuzelas,” the cheap plastic horns that are blowing non-stop during the World Cup Soccer matches. Apparently, players and fans alike are getting frustrated with the constant humming sound of the horn, a noise that resembles a combination of a cartoon-bird chirping and someone passing intestinal gas. (Listen to it here)

In fact, French captain Patrice Evra (which is undoubtedly a more girly name than Mia Hamm) blamed the horns for his team’s inability to score a goal in their opening match against Uruguay.

“We can’t hear one another out on the pitch because of them,” Evra told the BBC.

As far as this writer is concerned, no French player should be complaining about ANYTHING during this tournament, considering they’re not even supposed to be there.

Additionally, French legend Zinedine Zidane thinks blame should be issued to  France’s idiot coach rather than a plastic toy, but what does he know? He’s probably got brain damage.

It seems to be a case of FIFA officials not really knowing what they were signing up for. The vuvuzela is nothing new; it has been a major part of South African soccer for many years now. It signifies a pride in the nation’s heritage and support for its national team. In fact, when it was initially announced South Africa would be the host of the first World Cup ever in Africa, former president Nelson Mandela publically celebrated by “tooting” one.

Banning the popular “instrument” could be interpreted as a major sign of disrespect to the South African hosts.

However, there is no denying the annoyingness of the vuvuzela. Television broadcasts convince the viewer that the stadium is about to be attacked by a massive swarm of cicadas, and some of the more well-known chants and cheers usually on display at the World Cup have been overtaken by the vuvuzela hum.

I remember a few years back, when the Detroit Pistons were still a Championship-contending basketball team. Whenever a visiting team committed a turnover, the stadium announcer would declare “DEE-TROIT! BASKET-BALL!” in a drawn-out, childish fashion that made anyone and everyone not rooting for the Pistons want to take an ice-pick to the inner part of their ears.

It was annoying and hated by a vast majority. But it was part of the Detroit Basketball experience (just like not graduating high school or losing your job) and for that reason alone, it was something special.

So for that, I urge FIFA to continue to allow the vuvuzela at the World Cup. LET SOUTH AFRICA BLOW, AND LET THEM BLOW HARD!

What’s the alternative? Listen to a guy from France?

I’d rather dance with Helen Thomas.