Sizzurp, the drink of the Southern rap gods, is reputedly what T.I. was arrested for last night while pullin’ a youie with his baby boo.

The po pulled him over and smelled Mary Jane, found some ball trippin E, and, in those styrofoam cups sitting shottie, the mysterious sizzurp.

Sizzurp, purple drank, lean, Texas tea, or 7 up with codeine and promethazine, has already claimed the lives of some of hip-hop’s greatest. DJ Screw, who popularized the drink and the Chopped and Screwed style of hip-hop (featuring slowed down, slightly muddled lyrics) died in late 2000. Three 6 Mafia popularized the term with their single “Sippin’ on Some Syrup.”

Pimp C, half of the rap duo UGK, supposedly died from a sizzurp overdose as well, although he did have sleep apnea, which when coupled with the drug, was suspected to have stopped his breathing.

So while T.I. and Tiny are safe for now, the chances of T.I. going back to prison aren’t looking too bad. He was on probation after being released from prison earlier this year for his unlicensed weapons.

Here’s the single that started it all. Enjoy!

Well, the day that’s been 15 years in the making is finally here: 90210! And the internet has been aflutter with celebration today. Here are some highlights:

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28-year-old Jodie Sweetin, aka Stephanie Tanner from “Full House”, has just become a mom for the second time. I guess this is good news for Jodie, who’s done more than enough to firmly establish herself on the list of Child Stars Gone Bad over the years (since the age of 14, she’s been busy with alcoholism, pot, coke, Ecstasy, crystal meth, two short-lived marriages, stints in rehab, and drink driving). This is her second child with Cody Herpin, who she divorced earlier this year. She’s got a deejay boyfriend, Morty Coyle, now.

Better to focus on the glory days of Jodie Sweetin. I was a big fan of “Full House”, and Stephanie Tanner was my favorite character, naturally: Danny had OCD, Joey was the un-funniest comedian ever, DJ was too sexually frustrated, and Michelle was more annoying than cute. Uncle Jesse was pretty hot, but fundamentally flawed because his favorite niece was Michelle. Stephanie, however, was great: this kid was smart, sassy, and looked fabulous in polka dots and bows.

The Oval Office got a new makeover just in time for last night’s “We’re Leaving Iraq, But We Still Have a Lot of Work to Do” speech. New upholstery, wallpaper, lamps, couches, and a clean green rug, made from 25% recycled wool. The overall result is a bit more modern and, well, homey.

The rug features quotes around the border from some of the most badass men in recent history: Abe’s  “Government of the People, By the People, For the People”;  Teddy Roosevelt’s “The Welfare of Each of Us is Dependent Fundamentally Upon the Welfare of All of Us”; FDR’s “The Only Thing We Have to Fear is Fear Itself”; JFK’s “No Problem of Human Destiny is Beyond Human Beings”; and Martin Luther King’s “The Arc of the Moral Universe is Long, But it Bends Towards Justice.”

And don’t worry, our national budget didn’t get any bigger due to the re-design – the White House Historical Association paid for most of it, and they keep it in storage after the Prez leaves.

But as Mo Dowd points out, there was once a time when the President took his office as he found it and focused on rebuilding the country instead of his digs.

At approximately 8:28 p.m. last night, I completely lost my hearing. Why? Because I went to the Justin Bieber concert at Madison Square Garden last night. About a month ago, I wrote a post about Bieber Fever Bipolarism and my inter-battle with Justin. Well, as of right now, I am completely on-board with the Bieber train, not that I was ever really off.

Here’s a recap of last night’s events:

• Sean Kingston and some girl named Jessica Jarrell (not important) opened for Justin. When Ms. Jarrell began to perform, I thought it was a good time to grab a beer. Sean Kingston doesn’t sing live at all, he just makes party favor noises and tells people to put their hands up, which is completely fine and what I prefer.
• After an excruciating 50+ minutes of waiting for Justin to get on stage, my friend and I had to withstand the shrills, shrieks, and screams of what seemed to be like one trillion tween girls.
• Iyaz comes out and performs his smash hit “Replay” = more screaming
• They announce that this particular show is going to be Justin’s (first-named basis now) 3D movie and ask the entire arena to stand up and make a heart sign…in complete silence. Didn’t happen, obviously, but who knows, look for me in the movie, I was pretty serious about the silence thing.
• Justin comes on and EVERYONE, moms, dads, confused boys, and myself included (less so my friend) go ape-shit crazy.
• The show’s going well, Justin’s doing his thing, until he starts to sing “U Smile” and Boyz II Men comes out for some Motown-flavored harmonizing with Justin.
• After Justin performs acoustic versions of two of his songs in a heart-shaped cage above his audience, Usher comes out.
• Then Miley Cyrus
• Then Jaden Smith
• Then Sean Kingston again
• Then Ludacris

Pretty much something like that. The show was not only superfluously full of superstars—it was also highly entertaining, in more than one-way. A woman, presumably in her 30’s went alone and danced the ENTIRE TIME, even for the popcorn guy. Drunk? High? No, huge Bieber fan. And I’m not going to lie, when Miley Cyrus came out, I kind of wanted the concert to turn into a 65-minute version of “Party in the USA”. Instead, it was this, which was FINE. (Not my video or screams by the way)

What I enjoyed the most wasn’t Justin’s performances on the guitar, drums, or piano, but the 10-minutes of home videos they showed of him “back in the day” (yesterday). Little 3 year-old Justin playing a flawless beat on the drums or singing his ABC’s at age 2 was nothing short of adorable, but proof that he didn’t just come out of talent-less thin air. So the kid’s knowledge on geography isn’t so good, and MAYBE his hair looks kind of stupid, but who cares. I happily left the concert last night as a shameless 22 year-old, bypassing the sea of parents waiting for their kids. I didn’t quite understand the extent of Bieber Fever until last night, guess I better check my temperature soon.

Point:
As many of you know, the Emmy Awards took place Sunday night. The awards show itself was largely forgettable, but a highlight, if not the highlight, of the show was the opening sequence. While I thoroughly enjoyed the skit/performance, I couldn’t help but be reminded of another moment that took place 9 long years ago… And so I ask, was the Emmy opening not, for all intents and purposes, the 2010 version of the 2001 MTV Superbowl halftime show? Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed it last night, and I’m not trying to take anything away from it, because I was truly, absolutely giddy throughout the whole thing.

But my 16 year old self really enjoyed the 2001 superbowl halftime show, too. And so, I present to you a comparative study.

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Great name, Glenn. It’s catchy, short, and it resonates with all of the pot smoking liberals out there who just want to get high. Maybe you’ll win some converts. Hot new news? Meh, kind of. Firey opinions? Mmm, if you consider rehashings of Beck’s ideas hot. No Beck says the Blaze is about “a burning truth.”  Maybe it’s because the site is so new, but the stories that are up aren’t really about anything. But hey, at least Glenn Beck isn’t hiring people like Mike Wise.

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Short of murdering her newly-adopted son, there’s nothing Sandra Bullock could do at this point to get out of the public’s good graces (everyone even seems to have forgiven her for All About Steve). People already liked her for the most part, because she seems so darn, well, likable, but even those who hated her as an actress seemed to climb on board the “We <3 U Sandra!” wagon once things fell apart between her and Jesse James. And why wouldn’t they? The rare news that has been popping up about her seems to all revolve around how, in the face of such adversity, she is still a pretty good person. She’s helped raise funds for a school in New Orleans, which suffered crazy damages from Hurricane Katrina, and then there’s Louise, the lil’ guy she recently adopted, and to top it all off, she hasn’t even bad-mouthed her awful ex.

After a nearly half-year hiatus from the public eye following the break-up, she’s been slowly making appearances, mostly at awards shows, and her “Today” interview with Matt Lauer (a snippet of which can be found below) aired today.

In this age of celebrity gossip and over-saturation, it seems like everywhere we turn we’re bombarded with useless and ridiculous “news” about celebrities and their relationships. Well, let this blog post serve as my proverbial white flag. I surrender. Please, I beg of you, please stop thinking that I care about these celebrity relationships.

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Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin are two members of the G.O.P. who are smarter than many progressives deem them. Saturday’s rally was an example of their ability to play on Tea Party themes to attract huge crowds. And by placing themselves in the line of the Founding Fathers, MLK and the nation’s history, they played on the American – and human – desire for immortality. Comparing the event to Woodstock, Beck went on to invoke religion and the sacred name of Alaska for buoyancy in his quest to “restore honor” to our country.

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