Or so the apple industry will have you believe. It appear in that in a Little Shop of Horrorsesque turn of events Okanagan Specialty Fruits has genetically engineered a super apple so potent master eugenicists around the world are in awe. What is so special about this new super fruits? The apple does not turn brown when cut open and exposed to the open air for a few hours! Yes, you heard it here first. This is the shape of things to come.
In other news, the world is still uptight as hell.
OK, here’s what happened. Daniel Tosh was performing stand up at the Laugh Factory and a woman in the audience came out and said; “Tosh [started] making some very generalizing, declarative statements about rape jokes always being funny, how can a rape joke not be funny, rape is hilarious.”
So she felt compelled to yell out that rape is never funny. Tosh responded by saying “‘Wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her…” Granted, all of these quotes are coming from an audience member and Tosh claims he was greatly misquoted.
Still, it made me giggle.
See, dear heckler, Tosh was essentially calling you out for doing just that. Comedians don’t like hecklers. Granted, this woman wasn’t exactly booing and insulting him but he still was playing off the fact that she called out in the middle of his act. And it was FUNNY.
Also, why is the world so shocked and appalled that comedians tell jokes about taboo subjects? This isn’t new, people. If you don’t find it funny, don’t support that comedian. The woman up and left the show because she was offended and that’s OK, she had every right to. But you don’t have to start posting it all on the internet because you want 15 minutes of fame and have a need to vent.
Tosh tweeted in response to the incident: “The point I was making before I was heckled is there are awful things in the world but you can still make jokes about them.”
See, that’s where my sentiment lies exactly. So you keep making your “offensive” jokes, Tosh, and I’ll keep laughing at them. Because I, unlike most of the world it seems, have a sense of humor.
Today many are freaking out because they cannot look at cat videos or shop online today. More than 300,000 people, mostly in the US and UK, may lose access to their Internet today thanks to the FBI server shut down. Last November the FBI seized servers during a raid of hackers who used the DNS Changer virus to infect more than 4 million users.
Victims on the virus were routed through the hackers’ servers and many computers are still infected with the malicious code. Since the seizure the FBI has worked with several private security firms to alert the victims their computers were infected and online tools are available to let them check. However, the servers were switched off at 12:01 this morning after the FBI’s court order to keep them on expired. The result is that many could lose internet access.
To make matters worse, it could take time before users are aware of the problem. Their web access will be spotty, meaning some sites will work and others will not. Luckily, the FBI believe most will not have a problem. Many of the still infected computers are no longer used or maintained. So if you’re reading this, I doubt your computer has a problem.
A recent post on the Washington Post’s blog seems to sum up Republicans thoughts on the Romney campaign, and they are not happy. The recent Obamacare as penalty/tax debacle has not been helpful but the GOP is also complaining about a lack of clear policies from Romney and sluggishness in responding to attack from Obama.
A study recently came out that cleaning cat poop out of a litter box can potentially make you suicidal. If you are a woman, that is. As if we don’t have it hard enough, what with all the fun things we get to go through in our lives, but now we are more prone to killing ourselves if we own and take care of cats. How ironic, considering cats seem to be more of a favorite among women as pets than men.
So it goes like this: if you get infected with parasite T. gondii, you are one and a half times more likely to commit suicide, providing you have a pair of ovaries. The thing is, you don’t even have to have a history of crazy to be more susceptible. It can just happen.
First of all, who the hell decided to create this study in the first place? It’s almost as bad as the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration coming out and saying “mermaids aren’t real.” Really? Did we waste money and time researching to make sure that half fish, half human hybrids don’t actually exist? Man, and I was so sure The Little Mermaid was based on a true story.
Second of all, I’m screwed. I own a cat, my roommate owns a cat and we scoop that poop like nobody’s business. And I have a balcony. I don’t see that boding well for potential suicidal thoughts.
But here’s the kicker; if cat crap makes women suicidal, how come there are so many old crazy cat ladies who don’t kill themselves, but just live until they’re ancient and throw cats at people? Or wait, maybe that was just on The Simpsons.
Either way, ladies, beware. Fluffy and Whiskers may be sealing your doom. Cats, man. They get inside your HEAD!
While the rest of the world was going crazy over the “news” of Anderson Cooper coming out (Even though we already knew. Seriously, who was surprised. Raise your hand. Anyone? Anyone? Congrats Anderson, we all love ya!), there was bigger news that didn’t get quite as much press coverage. For anyone who has ever seen The Big Bang Theory you’ve heard of the Higgs Boson principle on many occasions. The guys on the show touch on it several times and revere it as they would their mint first edition of the first Hal Jordan Green Lantern comic. Well, yesterday, the fictional boys of The Big Bang Theory were probably glued to their internet screens as the real life news broke that the Higgs Boson Particle (otherwise known as the “God Particle”) was a step closer to being found.
Wait, it hasn’t actually been found? Okay, let me break this down for the lay people out there who have so far only recognized the words “Anderson Cooper” and “Big Bang Theory” in this blog post.
Absolutely no one was shocked today when CNN’s Anderson Cooper came out of the closet. Cooper stated today he’s, “gay, always have been, always will be and couldn’t be any more happy, comfortable with myself, and proud.” The journalist has dodged the gay question for years but finally opened up to The Daily Beast columnist Andrew Sullivan in an email exchange.
In the email Cooper addresses Entertainment Weekly’s feature on gays in the public eye recently coming out. In February Matt Bomer came out during an acceptance speech for the New Generation Arts and Activism Award by thanking his partner. Back in May we also weren’t very shocked to learn Big Bang Theory actor Jim Parsons is gay in a New York Times profile.
Cooper wrote in his email that he believes, “who a reporter votes for, what religion they are, who they love, should not be something they have to discuss publicly.” Cooper has always been open and honest with family and friends, but up until now he didn’t believe it was anyone’s business. He worried his silence would be seen as shame about the matter, which he assures us isn’t the case at all. Good for you Mr. Cooper and thanks for reaffirming my belief all the cute men are gay.
Have you been wondering why Twitter, Facebook and just about every other website online has become a crude, idiotic discussion on what people think it says in the constitution? That is because today the Supreme Court, or SCOTUS as the kids call it these days, upheld the majority of the Affordable Care Act. Yes, it seems like all the conservatives are going to up and move to Canada where they will be sorely surprised by the ready access to socialized medicine. Try Mexico folks, people are dying in the street every day for lack of medical care, you will love it!
Now what does this mean for us liberal minded folks? For one, you can finally make that doctors appointment you’ve been putting off, comrade. Also no more spending 3 days in line at the free cling to find out what the hell going on with the sore on your foot. For those of us under 26 we can look forward to mooching off our parents insurance coverage for another few years. The one part of the law that did not hold water has something to do with the way Medicare grant are received by states. I’m sure more will be known about that after the fanfare dies down a bit.
In short, it’s a good day to be a liberal. This almost makes up for the Citizens United decision, almost.